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Bluffing - Caribbean Style
February 15, 2012
Recently I read a very funny article by my friend Dave Martins of the Tradewinds and it bring back memories,memories of how we Caribbean people can bluff we way out of situations, born sometimes out of the need to survive and get through. New Yorkers got dat get through spirit too,real convincing, sometimes yuh don’t know if a fella taking yuh fuh a ride or not.Some people in tough situations can be picky, like a fella pun de F train recently who was smelling and scruffy, passing around a tot begging fuh money fuh a meal.One of muh sisters put some change but when yuh boy reach another lady she offer he a sandwich.The begger looked at the sandwich and before opening it exclaim,”I hope dis ain’t got in nuh pork!” he must be Jewish or Muslim, nuh pork fuh he! As boys in TnT we used to get dressed pun a weekend and head into the Indian belt,Arima, Chaguanas, Cunupia and look fuh weddings, always welcome, we would mingle,talk to pretty girls and eat we belly full,both sides think we belong to de other side but wid 500 people who checking?
In de old days when satellite dishes had just come in a friend get invite to a big house pun de west coast to watch a Muhammed Ali/Joe Frasier fight,enter the house,greet people,had some drinks,eat some food and sometime during round five ask fuh de host who invite he, “where Jerry,how come he not watching de fight?” Jerry? Dis ain’t Jerry house, he live bout half mile up de road. Feeling shame yuh boy about to leave after eating de people food and drinking out de folks expensive Hennessy ”man yuh here already, stay and watch de rest of de fight nuh!” Years ago, de Vendor used to be like Al Gilkes and muh friend Freddie Hill, in de Promotion business,yuh standing by de gate and men and women by de dozen coming through,”I wid de band” true duh never say dem playing in de band,but dem WID de band.So i ask a band manager”exactly how many people in dis band?” Four, he replied,”so who is de other twenty? “ Girlfriends, wives, outside women and roadies!
But de Trinis is de best, last year we at de St.Lucia Jazz Festival and de Vendor driving to pigeon point wid one Wayne “Big George”Leblanc from the OCM Network station in Trinidad, Hott93.We got a VIP pass to park in de special VIP area, but de Police decide that everybody have to use park and ride but Mr. George Leblanc is not into de walking thing! “Let we try a ting nuh “ and before yuh know it I Market Vendor telling de St.Lucian Policeman that we from sister station The Wave and we got microwave equipment that they need urgently fuh de broadcast!Equipment?what kind of equipment ask de officer and before I could holler microphones, George blurt out”Microwave equipment, we only want to drop off and come back!” Microwave jackass, you know de size of Microwave equipment George? Iffing de officer had ever ask to see de equipment,all now we woulda be rotting way in a Lucian prison like de Cuban fella dat in Dodds! Not even a piece of cable was in de car! We spend de whole day at Pigeon point,me I did frighten to drive out de night in case dat Policeman was waiting! De next day I ask de rental car company to change de vehicle! Only a Trini could be so bold face and brazen,yuh got to love dem though!
I Market Vendor gone fuh now,you have a blessed an
d a wonderful day,yuh hear?
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